Life - The pinnacle of creation, or is it?

For countless millennia, life has existed fighting constant wars for survival. Whether it be with elements, where the first phytoplankton evolved the ability to convert an unforgiving and uncaring world's atmospheric CO2 into oxygen, to the evolution of predation when the first cell realized that eating other organisms of its type would give it more sustenance as compared to processing inorganic matter.
And now, we have annihilated each other over land, resources, money , women and even hypothetical concepts such as beliefs.

According to Destiny(A video game by Bungie), this is the Sword Logic. The strongest lives, and everything doesn't deserve the "blessing" of life. This is how life thrives, by constantly challenging and evolving. This leads to the evolution of pinnacle keystone species, which reign supreme over all other beings in its domain.
Humans are the pinnacle keystone species of the Earth.

But we are 1 species, among millions of other species on this Earth, among the billions of Earth-like planets in the Milky Way, among the trillions of galaxies in our local super-cluster, in our ever expanding and infinite Universe.

What is the why to life? Why do we exist? Why should we get up every morning? How do we even matter?

In order to answer this question, we ended up creating beliefs that give us reasons to live, to value life. A belief in eternal happiness, unity with a cosmic soul. A validation and existence of the soul. Maybe this was where religions were birthed, when we needed something beyond us to live for. And life became a central crusade, where life became the central focal point of existence and us humans the chosen progenitors of life. And life became sacred.

What does life give us? The ability to experience the universe in all its might. Humbling us with its power, piquing our curiosity with its secrets and marvels, spending time , the 4th dimension of our universe, with other beings just like us with entire universes inside their minds. It allows us to experience the beauty in symmetry, in natural laws, in creations that couldn't have just "evolved" due to how masterfully they are crafted.

But at what price? Maybe a couple millennia ago, life did have more to give than lose. But now, life entails a massive monetary cost. Starting from being born , to our food and clothes, the water we drink, our education, our entertainment. And then we marry just to repeat the cycle again. And this cost is borne by us. Running dead end jobs, working nights and days away struggling to make ends meet, feeling inferior to our competition, losing our loved ones, toiling away for a better life just to realize that there was nothing to work for, or that the path we took made us lose our dreams.
We kill our environment to make our lives better, and the ones to proceed us inherit this. We spew venom and guide our children to stay away from beliefs different to us, alien to us, because our belief is the "chosen" one.
Maybe there's more to life than money you say, emotions and people.
Well, we don't get to choose the people we are born into, the people who raise us. We take what we get, and inherit our subconscious from them.
In some cases, we don't even choose the people we spend out entire life with.
And that's when we realize that we have a million things to say and do, but we can't because of how the people we belong to are.
Caged children, marriages that teeter on the brink of collapse, vengeful relationships and so much more.

Almost every child goes through periods of life where they lose their hopes, ambitions, dreams and as shown by the rise in suicide rates, their will to live.

Would you put someone you love through all this pain? People would die for anything, but living for something is what means more to me.
How does it feel to not exist at all? Wouldn't that be better? You won't know the universe in all its glory, you won't know the warmth of a hug or a lovers embrace, but you won't know the pain of losing it all either.

I wouldn't kill myself ever, nor give up hope. But if I was given a choice before I was born, to either exist or not, I feel as though I would've taken the latter. 

I'm not ungrateful for what I have, but rather I'd rather not even have the capacity to feel grateful in the first place. Just by not existing.

Another floater of my mind, where all I want to do is just not exist..